Spring Break(up) Season

10 Ways to Deal With Spring Break(up) Season

Did you know that there are specific times throughout the year when you are more likely to go through a breakup? Unfortunately, one of those times is upon us now –it’s officially spring break(up) season.  Apparently, there are two big spikes during the year in terms of breakups: one right after Valentine’s Day, and the other in the weeks leading up to spring (which officially starts on March 20 this year). There are numerous theories about what’s behind these higher instances of crumbling relationships, but what most people do agree on is that breakups are one of life’s more difficult experiences to withstand.  For those experiencing a painful breakup now, here are some tips to help you through:

  1. Remember that you’re not alone and that this too shall pass. Love and loss are part of the human experience, and happen to just about everyone. Most people who have been through a breakup will tell you that time does heal. So, when it feels like the pain will never end and you’re sure you will never find love again, know that everyone feels this way and that very few are actually right.
  2. Be kind to yourself. I’ve heard many people beat themselves up over their mistakes.  While reflecting on what you could or should have done differently is normal, negative self-talk isn’t doing you any favors. What does help is treating yourself with compassion. Losing someone who you love is hard, so be as patient and kind with yourself as you would be with your best friend. 
  3. Give yourself extra time to rest. Emotional stress is all-encompassing and completely draining. As much as we might like to, most of us can’t afford to stay in bed for days, but a little nap or extra rest when you’re feeling particularly drained can be beneficial. 
  4. Connect with your people.  When you lose someone you loved and shared life with, there is a gaping hole left in their absence. Spending time with family and friends who make you feel supported is a wonderful way to refill your depleted buckets. Most friends don’t mind being a shoulder to cry on, but don’t forget to laugh too!  Laughter really is the best medicine, and there’s humor to be found everywhere if you are willing to look.
  5. Invest in yourself.  Remember everything you gave to your partner? Good, now give that to yourself. Most people find they have more time on their hands, so use it in a way that feels best for you. Have you wanted to learn how to play golf, brush up on your Spanish, or perhaps take a photography class? If so, now is a great time to do the things that make you happy. Staying busy and focused on something other than the breakup is super helpful, as is the boost to your confidence in getting better at whatever you choose to focus on.
  6. Move.  Exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, which are natural feel-good chemicals in the brain that improve mood and reduce feelings of pain and stress. It also helps reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol that can help alleviate feelings of anxiety and tension. Bonus points for exercising outdoors since it can have a positive impact on mental health and well-being, reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, and boost Vitamin D levels, which also help with mood regulation.
  7. Keep track of improvements, however slight. Don’t set expectations about when you are supposed to feel any given way. Don’t compare yourself to others or even to your previous breakups. There’s no set timeline for recovery, but do take notice of improvements, as they will give you hope about your trajectory. Remember that recovery isn’t always linear, and oftentimes you may take two steps forward and one step back. The important part is to notice yourself feeling better, slowly but surely, so that when you do have a setback and a particularly low day, you can understand that you’re not likely to feel this way tomorrow or the day after. Journaling is a great tool to keep track of your progress.
  8. Cut the chord. Even though it hurts, avoid contact and communication with your ex as much as possible. If you slip up, start anew and don’t beat yourself up. Also, nothing good comes from following your ex on social media, so unfriend and unfollow!
  9. Don’t be afraid to get help. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, heartbroken, and unsure about how to move on. It’s a tough time, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Coaching can be an effective way to navigate this challenging period and come out stronger and more resilient.
  10. Not to be cliche, but remember that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and when one door closes, another one opens. Although it may not feel like it at the time, you will come out of this with the learning and growth you need to make your next relationship healthier and happier!