Getting Valentine’s Day Right Based on the Five Love Languages

Like it or not, Valentine’s Day is the official day of love and romance, and it’s just around the corner! While we should always celebrate love and show our affection, this is the day that you really want to get it right. You want to make your partner feel extra special and express your love in a way that will be best felt and appreciated. To do that, it’s helpful to know your partner’s love language.

For those who are not familiar with the book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman explains that people typically have one primary love language that when spoken, makes them feel most loved and cherished.  The five love languages are: acts of service, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, and gifts.  

If you aren’t sure of your partner’s love language, it’s a great conversation point!  You can even take the quiz together. The better you understand each other and the clearer your communication, the stronger your relationship will be. 

Once you know your partner’s primary love language, it becomes easier to figure out how to make them feel extra loved on Valentine’s Day. Here is some guidance and ideas for each of the love languages:


  1. Acts of service –Think, what’s something you could do to make their life a little easier? For example, you could take your partner’s car to get detailed, buy them a gift certificate for a personal organizer, or purchase a few food subscription boxes. Another idea would be a personalized coupon book of things you will take care of for them at their request. Pair these more functional gifts with some flowers or chocolate, and you’re good to go!
  2. Physical touch — Be extra affectionate! Try more hand-holding, kissing, snuggling and whatever else you know they appreciate. In addition, luxurious body products or gift certificates for such services as massages, facials, mani/pedis for her, or shaves for him, make great presents.
  3. Quality time –Focus on planning something extra special to do together and giving your undivided attention. This does not have to be extravagant, but it should be something out of the ordinary. It could be as simple as dinner at a restaurant they’ve been dying to try, taking them on a romantic picnic, or a day on the water kayaking –it’s really more about sharing a special experience. Of course, if a weekend getaway is an option, by all means, go for it!
  4. Words of affirmation –Find creative ways to verbally express your affections!  Along with a small gift, a poem or hand-written card would be very much appreciated. Also, you could write a top 10 list of what you love about your partner or top memories together. Another idea is to leave sticky notes with sweet, authentic messages throughout their house.  And don’t forget the heart-shaped candy with words!
  5. Gifts –It’s the thought that counts here! Hopefully, you’ve been listening when your partner has been talking about something they’ve had their eye on for some time.  If that isn’t the case, you’ll have to get more creative. While the gift does not need to be expensive, it should be something that lets your partner feel you have put thought into selecting something just for them. A meaningful playlist or photo album/collage reflect that special effort, as does a basket full of their favorite goodies. Beautiful packaging never hurts either!


Happy Valentine’s Day!